Just for fun

• The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference - he acquired his size from too much pi.
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was arrested for littering.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
• Two silk worms had a race - they ended up in a tie.
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall - the police are looking into it.
• Atheism is a non-prophet making organization.
• Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One said to the other “You stay here; I'll go on a head”.
• I wondered why the football kept getting bigger - then it hit me.
• A sign on the lawn at a drug rehabilitation centre said “Keep off the Grass”.
• The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
• The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
• If you jumped off a bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine.
• A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an aeroplane. The stewardess looks at him and says “I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger”.
• Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says “Dam!”
• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
• Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says “I've lost my electron”. The other says “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I'm positive”.
• Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused pain relief during root canal work? His goal: transcend dental medication.
• There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.